Why have I not updated for a while? Maybe some honestly shall help....

Well, I was seriously de-motivated to write when I was racing badly. The start of this season was a complete shocker. Thanks in no part, to where I was living. It was dismal. Genuinely, unbelievably dismal. Think mental prison. I could not think. As well as not being able to wash, be clean, or be myself. Thankfully that did not have to last all season. As soon as I left, my performance, motivation, and happiness in general happiness increased ten-fold.

I still had 4 months of awful racing to overcome mentally. I sort of did it. I finished between 3rd and 6th place a few too many times. Whenever I found myself in a situation to win, perhaps, I was still weak mentally. I lost the edge or whatever you wish to call it. My confidence had a big dent it in. My legs had a whole season in them.

In retrospect I should have finished my season a little earlier. I ended it on a bad note. I didn’t / couldn’t finish the last race. I was done. It was time for a break.

I spent it reading this book my Mother brought me. Side note - I have got a tattoo on my left wrist (what it is does not matter). She wrote it out and stuck it inside the front cover of this book – after that I had to read it. Maybe she did it to guilt trip me into reading it! Maybe not. Either way, it was a welcome addition! The book is about overcoming physical limitations to achieve success in sport. It was unbelievable. It’s called “Bounce” written by Matthew Syed. It’s genius.

The reading of that book gave me a different outlook. It’s easy to point fingers and say “I did badly because of that person” or “I should have done this instead of that”. It’s not so easy to say it’s my fault. So, to me...I am not sorry, I am different. I am better than I have ever been. I have to believe that. I do believe that. I have grown up.

I hope someone is still looking to read this.....